“The Expendables” by Leader K

Leader K

A quick review of the “The Expendables”

The Expendables has been getting the hype of being one of the most highly anticipated movies to come out this summer, a ripe cherry on top of a ice cream sunday that looked better on paper before you spent money on it. This summer has had its ups and down, what with Ironman being utterly forgettable and Toy Story absorbing all the praise like a sponge, the list of good movies in the past few months is easily narrowed down when it comes to quality: 70% Forgettable, 15% bad, 15% good. So where does The Expendables end up in all this.

The title “The Expendables” comes from the idea that the main cast, (an elite mercenary force that will take any job) can be disposed of without the employer losing any valuable assets. This seems to be the them for the movie inside and out as anyone not Stallone, Statham, Li, or Lundgren, has little more than one or two scenes in the movie, and perhaps this is for the better as most of these people are good fighters, but not good actors. To prerequisite that let me first point out that Stallone and Statham are the stars here and the only guy who get the screen time to develop, and are two of the only guys who don’t talk in one-liners.

All our boys together make up a super squad of DM bias that beats the living hell out of brown people. As far as plot goes, thats all you get so don’t expect much else. The real draw is in the names and there a lot .
-Sylvester Stallone as Barney Ross: the DM of this little campaign, he is immune to death and all those who act in his favor are sure to live long happy lives.
-Jason Statham as Lee Christmas: he is The Transporter with knives and he gets to do all the good stuff.
-Jet Li as Yin Yang: has the most fight scenes and loses almost every fight he is in (despite the fact that in real life it doesn’t take Jet Li more than ONE-KICK to the face to shut anyone down!) He is the most rescued person in the film, the movie blames this on the fact that he is short.
-Randy Couture as Toll Road- barley in the movie, barley knows how to act, gets two really cool fight scenes, or at least they were probably cool but you can barley see a damn thing going on!
-Dolph Lundgren as Gunnar Jensen: a crazy junkie!
-Terry Crews as Hale Caesar: deserves an entire movie based on him, too bad in this one he only gets like two scenes to himself, they are both awesome. POWER!!!
-Mickey Rourke as Rourke Mickey: is a good actor.
-Eric Roberts as James Monroe: a man who has played the exact same villain in every movie he has or will ever be in.
-Steve Austin as Dan Paine: F$%#@#@^%*AWSOME!
-Bruce Willis as Thanks for the check assholes.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger as I’m in this movie for less than a minute!

Lets be fair here, this sort of film is not about drama or acting, it laughs in the face of the thespian. The plot is a device by which our screen writers find an excuse to add in as many “wouldn’t that be cool” moments as possible.
Its all about the action. So does it deliver? Well its hard to say really, me I’m the kind of guy that when i see someone get kicked in the face or slammed into a wall, or shot, or stabbed, or blown up; i like to see them stay down for more than half a second. This is not sort of movie.

During a fight scene the camera tends to close in on each and every punch or kick adding loud sound effects making every hit seem devastating. At the same time in a given fight scene the people fighting sprayed on their handy death repellent so they don’t lose face by going down, instead they just hold their side and grunt for a second before continuing on like they didn’t just laND HEAD FIRST ON A PILE OF SHARP BRICKS!!!!
These close up camera shots are so overused that most of the fights are ruined mid way through because you can’t see what is going on especially when the last 40 minuets of the movie takes place at night. Please, please, pleassssse editors pull back a little. You have an entire cast of actors that actually knows how to fight, so let me at least see it.

Now aside from the fight scenes there are the killing scenes. This is a scene where some poor schmuck tries his vary best to fight someone who actually has a full named and gets brutally destroyed in a way that either ends or begins with broken, decapitate, throat, or evaporate. Of all the action scenes these are the most prevalent and yes, of course, it is pure awesome. And while this makes our hero’s look like gods it also gives off a sort of guilt to the audiance. Like watching a bunch of high school sophomores with paintball guns crashing a pillow fight between 3rd grade girls.
Note: CG blood sucks!

all in all as far as action movies go The Expendables is a 6 out of 10, thats falls under forgettable folks. So If you find yourself bored some time this month, go ahead and check this out at a matinée. 7.50$ is a good price. But be warned, the more money you pay to see this, the more disappointing it will be.

also here is a quick review of Eat Prey Love,

Julia Roberts acts like a bitch! END!

Feel Free to leave me a comment down below and let me know what you think, if you enjoyed the review or what you want me to review next. I’ll pay attention. After all, you are my only reader.

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