“Not so Christmasy Films” by Leader K

Leader K

Christmas means a great deal to some, and absolutely nothing to others. For me
Christmas has never meant much more than what type of movies hit the theaters that month. May it be the obligatory Harry Potter film (the winter blockbuster), or the many holiday based films cashing in on the consumers favorite season. The latter here is notorious for showing corny lessons (warnings) about how the Christmas holidays is meant to spread joy and cheer, and they often rebuke the culture for making Christmas about the presents-and thus-the money. They spit this rebuke all the while raking in top dollar from the jack-wagons who go to see these silly films each and every year.
So if you wish to ask me what my favorite Christmas movie is i could only respond that i do not like any of them. But surly there must be a loop-hole, of course there is always and way around these sorts of questions. Because there are many films that while not celebrating the hypocrisies of the holiday are simply taking place around that time of year, or maybe someone is just drinking eggnog. These films are not about Christmas, in fact, many of them use the duality of “the most wonderful time of the year” to show the uglier, smarter, sillier, or even crazier things we like to pretend go away for the holiday vacation. Some of these are classics, known by all, others you may have never heard of for better and (for some) for worse.

Animation:

A Cartoon Network Christmas


These were the days, the days when Cartoon Network was a gold-mine rather than a burning pit like it is today. We had Toonami, and Adult Swim of course, but between those we had some of the best and brightest pure American cartoons to ever grace the TV screen. Dexter’s Laboratory, Johnny Bravo, The Powerpuff Girls, Ed, Edd n Eddy, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Grim and Evil, Codename: Kids Next Door, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi! All of which had there own Christmas specials multiple years and where always top notch. From the late 90’s to the early 00’s Cartoon Network was the best thing on television. They are trash now, but i don’t have to watch it anymore! I’m only twenty and i still had the best childhood in all of human history! Suck it history!!!

Rating: 8.5 of 10

Tokyo Godfathers (2003)


Sotoshi Kon is dead. The man who could challenge Miyazaki as the best animated film director of all time has died an unfortunate early death, but his work shall stay with us. Tokyo Godfathers while not always his first mentioned (that honor might go to Paprika) is arguably his best film. Following four main characters, one an alcoholic, one a drag queen, one runaway girl, and one helpless baby found in the trash, all join together to reconcile with there varied passed lives before becoming a family of homeless bums. The major theme here (if you couldn’t tell by the set up) is a second chance coming out of a coincidence. Fast moment of overwhelming darkness turn into great upheavals of karma. As my favorite writher is Paul Auster (The New York Trilogy, The Music of Chance, Moon Palace)the idea of these extraordinary events falling into place as they do, however unlikely, is not hard to accept because without them there is no story. Co-written by Keiko Nobumoto (the Creator of Wolf’s Rain and head scriptwriter for Cowboy Bebop) Kon makes one of the best movies i have ever seen, and by far my favorite Christmas film, bar non.

Rating: 9 of 10

Horror:

Gremlins (1984)


Often forgotten as a Christmas horror movie Gremlins is in every way a classic, not just for Christmas, but for horror, and especially for horror comedy. At the center of what became a gigantic marketing campaign is the cute little Gizmo a kind hearted prelude to the sick and ugly gremlins that plague the main character through the film and it sequels. With the cute little Gizmo comes a set a rules, and as we all know: a fun set of restrictions is the recipe for movie gold (“You do not talk about fight club”). These rules are simple, “never expose the Gizmo to bright lights, don’t get it wet, and never feed it after midnight.” to break these rules is to bring disaster upon many an innocent person.
So your some sort of jack-wagon that doesn’t like horror movies, well don’t worry (grow up) this is a comedy. What’s that your the type of sad soul that doesn’t like comedy? Well i have a cure for that to, you could just jump off a bridge. That said, you have no good reason not to see this awesome movie.

Rating: 8 of 10

Santa’s Slay (2005)


Back in the older days of WCW one of the biggest and best attractions was the unbeatable Goldberg, granted his undefeated streak seemed to rise by ten digits after one match a week but that only did well to create the monster that was Goldberg. Turns out this big Jewish beast was actually Santa Clause in disguise and in Santa’s Slay he gets to go all out and do what Santa has always secretly wanted to do….kill a lot of people…..
Something about a black comedy Christmas horror is fun to me, and Santa’s Slay is the quencher of that craving. Sure there is a story behind it all but thats hardly the point. The fun of this flick is in seeing the beloved CokeCola icon demolishing people that only kind of deserve it all the while spouting of silly one liners and even sillier puns. For example, Santa visits a strip club at one point in this film! HO HO HOE!!!!

Rating: 7 of 10

Action:

Die Hard (1988)


It is the year 2010 going on 2011, anyone who has not seen this film has no business turning on a television until they do. Not only is die hard the best action film ever, it is one of the best Christmas movies as well. If you have been stuck in a hole sense 1988 then i’ll give a quick plot summery: Bruce Willis (who was a comedian before this film) is your average Joe named John. He’s going to a Christmas party at his estranged wife’s work, a tower own by a small Japanese man who doesn’t last long. Upon arrival he meet a merry bunch of terrorist (mostly white males you silly republicans) led by Hans Gruber (who is one of the best villains ever (played by Alan Rickman). John must kick some major ass if he wants to save Christmas.

Rating: 8 of 10

Reindeer Games (2000)


If you want to be reminded of the good old days back before everyone hated Ben Affleck and than later liked him again as they do today then this may not be the best thing to watch. Reindeer Games was neither well received nor well remembered. This can be attributed to many thing. Could it be that the Director has basically dropped off the map after this in a new era where the culture is looking to redefine itself? Could it be written off as another member of the notorious list of bad Ben Affleck films? Could it be the many unnecessary twists that dilute the story O so much? Yes, yes and yes, but it is (if nothing else) a movie I have remembered because so many more have forgotten. It is so vary bad, but that is why i like it!

Rating: 6 of 10

Comedy:

Christmas Story (1983)


I shouldn’t have to say anything about this movie. It doesn’t even need to be listed. This is the Christmas movie, this is Christmas! Eggnog (check), presents (check), tree (check), A Christmas Story (check and double check). It plays non-stop 25/7 all through Christmas, if you haven’t seen it, shut up and go watch it. I will not talk to you until you have seen it at least ten times (and thats me being generous).

Rating: 9 of 10

Trapped in Paradise (1994)


Now for something you haven’t seen. Nick Cage, Jon Lovitz, Dana Carvey play three brother with questionable pasts who decide to rob a bank this Christmas. Well maybe we have seen this a few times before, but what makes this movie fun are the actors, Nick Cage is doing what we all love him for: over doing it. The Moral one, the charming one, and for some the funniest! Jon Lovitz is the schemer as Jon Lovitz is ought to be. And thats never a bad thing. And the master of disguise himself Dana Carvey plays the “simple” one. Together with them we go from one crazy situation to another robbing a bank, or running from police, or falling in love, or running from escaped convicts, or running from the police again. Is it as funny as A Christmas Story, nope not even close. But it is different and different is always different.

Rating: 7 of 10

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Comments
7 Responses to ““Not so Christmasy Films” by Leader K”
  1. MarkoManager says:

    Lovely post, very interesting, i follow your blog…

  2. NameBrands says:

    glad to see 'a christmas story' was not overlooked. good post

  3. ImmaFrog says:

    i nostalgiaed with this, mister

  4. Hitchcock says:

    great revies as always

  5. HTT says:

    nice reviews, thanks !

  6. 4funz says:

    wow cartoon network.. i didn't watch it in like 10 years :)

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