Mr Riddler reviews “Donkey Kong Country Returns”

You are in a room together with 3 primates: a monkey, a chimp, and an ape. The monkey only knows how to write, the chimp only knows how to talk, and the ape only knows how to solve math problems. Which primate in the room is the smartest?

Well if you’re in the room, then hopefully You are the smartest primate there.

What I Expected

Donkey Kong was one of the games that I didn’t play through as a kid. Not to say that I didn’t want to. Like I had mentioned before, I was a Sega Genesis kid, not a Super Nintendo Kid. All that aside. Donkey Kong amused me but didn’t really draw me in to want to play it like Super Mario Brothers had done. It wasn’t until recently, the past couple of years, that I started to get into the idea of Donkey Kong games because Ragdoll had mentioned that she played them when she was younger. So naturally, I won’t have as much nostalgia in playing this game as she did. Then again, I never have a high degree of tolerance for Wii games anyway. I’ll still give this one a fair chance since it is from Nintendo developers, but Nintendo, as we all know…




What We Got

As in Traditional Nintendo Fashion. Donkey Kong Country Returns is more levels of the original Donkey Kong Country series with little changed… or little as changed as far as I know of. Like I said I’ve never played the older series, but when I’m seeing the 3D graphics of the Wii used to produce a2.5D Side scrolling game with a name that would hint to it being the same game RETURNING, then one can only assume….

The Story is easy enough to follow. Someone shows up on your door step and roughs up your place so like The Dude in The Big Lebouski, Donkey Kong and Ditty Kong are out on an adventure to find the man who peed on their rug and demand compensation. And to get it He’s revenge He’ll go through every living creature in the area of his island, eventually reducing the population to Zero because, as a reflection of all suburban society, all Neighbors are dicks waiting to kill you. In retrospect you could say that Donkey Kong is a reflection of that huge guy at work that looks like he’s about to go off the deep end then one day someone bumps his coffee on him then he punches everyone in the face systematically with a huge grin on his…. Must remember to give that guy candy tomorrow at work.

Boss fights are interesting since the little guy that messed up your place possess something more threatening and then tries to kill you. After defeating it though you get an adorable cartoony death sequence and then knock the guy into oblivion. Over all the game is very cute and cartoony but incredibly challenging at times for platforming and especially the mine cart levels. It’s….. *deep breath* a game…. the whole family…. can…. enjoy…..

There’s hard to find something to complain about this game, aside form the fact that’s a rebooted game and that all originality for Nintendo is dead. I supposed to the only real draw back is ease of controls? but that’s  a bit of a reach. Donkey Kong uses the Nunchuk again, so it’s time to dust that thing off. The motion controls for pounding the ground are waggling you arms back and forth and at times it can be awkward in combat since you’re automatically searching for a button to press but then it kicks in that you just need to wave your arms. I realize that’s a bit of a reach, but it’s hard to find a down side to Donkey Kong country Returns, sorry to say.


This game is good, and I secretly think I knew that to begin with which is why I picked it. I want to trick myself into thinking that I bought my Wii for a good reason and not because I’m lazy and need to more. But on the other hand is flailing my arms rapidly really considered to be moving if I’m laying down on a bed?

Overall Rating

Buy It. Give it to your kids. Instill the great American values that were instilled in us. That no problem can’t be solved with Gorilla style violence.

2 Responses to “Mr Riddler reviews “Donkey Kong Country Returns””

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